I was happily Living with my Parents and my younger sister in Delhi Utterly ignorant of the cycle of time. When I was 2 Years old My Father Went into Depression , My mother started a job , my Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother started taking care of me and my sister , I was Left all alone , Never got the love I want from my parents , I couldn't even celebrate my Birthday with my parents , For...
I was happily Living with my Parents and my younger sister in Delhi Utterly ignorant of the cycle of time. When I was 2 Years old My Father Went into Depression , My mother started a job , my Maternal Grandfather and Grandmother started taking care of me and my sister , I was Left all alone , Never got the love I want from my parents , I couldn't even celebrate my Birthday with my parents , For the Sake of my father's Health , My Mom and dad decided to shifted to Haldwani , I was really attached to my grandfather and Grandmother and my Best friend minakshi , I don't want to leave them but still I Ended up being in Haldwani . Time passed and I was waiting to complete my studies and Going back to Delhi but situation get worse when I Was 12 Years old , I Was Sexually Abused by my cousin brother , I Was not able to tell anyone about this coz no one was there to understand me , I was having a feeling of hatred for my parents , After that Situation My Grandfather left all of us , He Died because of Cancer , I Was Shattered into pieces , Unabhle to spend my Previous years with him , I Started living alone , No Friends , Not Good relationship with Family , Guilt and Fear Keeps haunting me... , When I was In 10 I Attempted suicide , Unable to handle my life but I Was Safe , My parents thought it might be study pressure and they ignored it even I was afraid of being to a mental Hospital so I kept quiet , Didn't talked to my parents about my feelings , I Was in 11 Class it was my business Studies exam and Suddenly I Got Fainted while writing the exam , When I woke up , I was at the Hospital, Doctor Checked me and Find everything normal , They asked my parents to take me to a Psychiatrist and this is how my journey begins..
I Was Admitted but I Asked my parents to take me back to home or else I will kill myself , They bring me back to home , I Was having no love for my parents at that time , I Was Given Antidepressants , I was Having Hallucinations , I Started Behaving Lime a 5 year child , Continuous Faintness and I Was not Able to Recognise my mother and Sister . I was Again Admitted to Hospital , Maternal Grandmother Was Called to Haldwani she looked after me but nothing changes , I Again Attempted suicide , After few unsuccessful Suicide Attempts , I Brought out my anger to everyone around me , Seeing all this My Parents make me a Promise that if I will co-operate with the treatment they will take me to Delhi and I will live there , I started cooperating with doctor they built a trust relationship with me and I Started Recovering , After 1 Month my father took me to Delhi we enjoyed and bring me back to Haldwani , Saying that lets complete school formalities for new admission after 15 Days I leaned the truth it was a condition my parents put to help me recover but I just broke me down , They started gaining my trust and love but everything was again turned into hatred , I was Forcefully Sent to School But there the situations worsens the most , Everyone knows I was Suffering from Dissociative Disorder , My Classmates Started making Groups and Talking About me , She's been to a Mental Asylum , Stay away from her , She's mad , She's possessed , Were the comments I was getting , I Continuously Got Fainted in school too , Though my teachers and Principal Sir was Supportive but still nothing worked I Opted Home Schooling , I keep Myself Locked in a Room , My mental Health had a Lot of Fluctuations , I was Having Hallucinations , I Could see my Maternal Grandfather Who was Dead and My Best friend minakshi , Seeing all this Everyone thought I am Possed and Pandit was Brought to our home , He Torchered me , Hold my hairs Tightly , I was Hurting , My Wrist was Paining , I Continuously asked him to Stop , My relatives were sitting Quietly and seeing the drama but no one came to help me.. , Then my father suddenly came in between and stopped all that , My Mom dad Supported me and We go for proper treatment , But the past memories were not leaving me and the stigma for mental illness around me was making situations worse but luckily I realised my parents loves me a lot they never did anything intentionally and I Started loving them our relationship gets improved but not my health , I entered 12 Class , I was time for boards exams ,I was Unable to study and Face the Society , I Decided to Quit and Decided to End up Everything , But My Coaching Teacher More like My Brother he always believed me and Said to me Vidushi I believe you that you will get pass in School exam and life exam tooo.. I replied I am 99% Sure I Will got Fail , He asked me to try for 1% , And I decided to fight , I Started Working hard , Taking Proper Medicine and Councelling and Learn the truth about life , The beauty of life and The Closed Curtains of My room are Open , The Black room is filled with light , I Stepped outside the house after soo long...
It was all Hard but not impossible , It was my exam time , It was my Maths Exam Day , Some Classmates of mine asked me questions about my past and the Fear haunted me , I Was Feeling Dizzy in exam hall , My parents were called and after taking Medicine anyhow I wrote the Paper , Exams are Over But Still Exam of life was left that I Have to Fight .... Treatment was Going On , My anger and Stubborn Behaviour was unbearable but My Doctor and Parents Sealed with a Lot Of Patience and It Was The Day of My result , Everyone was Worried What will happen , I open the Result and Checked either it's Pass or Fail
And Guess What I was Passed with 54% I was Dancing and crying , Everyone was Happy But It was my 1 Achievement after 2 Years of Struggle , That Give me a Confidence and I decide to Fight the Society , There was A incident that happened with me while I was Getting discharged from hospital I Asked for medical to my doctor so that I could use it in my school , But he advised me not to use it coz society take mental illness In a wrong way , That thing shocked me a bit and After that I started reasearch over this topic and learn that truth that surrounds mental illness , In our city Haldwani , A person is called possessed he was taken to a pandit first rather then going to a Doctor and Later things became worst ... To make people aware I Started a Group of Youths and Youngsters " Enlightening Hope Within " That make People aware about Mental illness ...
Through my Journey I Realised It's not the illness that kills you it's the Stigma and Discrimination that comes with it.. and it's really important to understand that Mental Health us Important just Like Physical Health.